The Inherent Danger of Practical Joking
by seditionary
Summary: Morgan's prank war with Reid has bigger consequences than he ever imagined when he extends his practical joking to Garcia. Fluffy humor, suggestions of Morgan/Reid naughtiness.


**A/N: I've long wanted to do a fic featuring Morgan's strange comment "I'm not sleeping with Reid!" from the episode when they went to Alaska. I also wanted to tackle their prank war, lol. So, this kind of combines the two, even though it is not chronologically canon.**

**Contains vague reverences to sexy stuff.**

**Hope you like it, thank you!**

**Seds**

* * *

Derek Morgan stuck his head into Garcia's office and asked, "Baby Girl, you got any Wite-Out? I used the last of mine."

"Sure, stud-muffin. You know I'm the queen of office products."

Garcia opened her desk drawer; a giant fluffy spring-loaded snake popped out, looking for all the world like a living creature launching itself into Garcia's face.

She shrieked and fell back into her chair; she knocked over a cup full of pens, and her kitty-ear tiara went flying. Morgan was reduced to helpless laughter, holding his sides in an unnecessary display of self-satisfied hilarity.

"Derek Morgan!" she shouted, once she'd recovered her equilibrium. "You evil jerk! Oh, you've done it now."

"Garcia, come on, you deserved it," Morgan gasped. "After you helped Reid with his little cell phone trick? You had it coming."

"Giving the imperial tech goddess a heart attack is NOT an appropriate response." Garcia drew a shaky breath and glowered at him. "But, it's fine. Don't worry—I'm a good sport. I'm not at all going to retaliate in spades, nu-uh, not me."

"That's all right, baby girl, that's all right. Bring it! I can take anything you care to dish out." Morgan regarded his friend and occassional nemesis fondly. "Guess I'll have to be on my toes from now on, huh?"

"Oh, you have no idea." Garcia's eyes flashed, she shook her head disgustedly and waved her hand in dismissal. "Now, leave me alone. I have revenge to plot."

"Yes, ma'am. I can hardly wait." Morgan cheerfully sauntered out of her office, still chuckling to himself.

Garcia gaze narrowed and she nodded. "Revenge is a dish best served cold, my love. Just you wait. You'll never see it coming."

* * *

Three days later, Garcia was letting her urges for retribution simmer; she wasn't sure what she was going to do to Morgan, but she knew patience was the key. The right opportunity would present itself in good time, and when it did, she'd take full advantage. For now, she was content to let him lull himself into a false sense of security.

But, to her surprise, Morgan's normal good spirits seemed to be waning by the day, and today he looked positively morose. Garcia couldn't believe she was responsible for his glum mood, but she had no idea what else could have plunged him into such a state of despair; she rapped on his office door and let herself in.

Morgan was sitting in his chair, facing the window. Stacks of files were on his desk, untouched.

"Derek?"

He slowly rotated his chair to face her. "Oh, hi, Garcia."

"Hey. Are you all right? You look a little down in the dumps."

"Huh? Oh. No, I'm fine. Thanks for asking."

Garcia started to say something, but didn't. She stood looking at him; he seemed to have forgotten she was even in the room.

"You know you can talk to me any time. I'm really not mad about the mean trick you played on me the other day."

Morgan looked up, surprised. "What? Oh, yeah. I'm... I'm sorry about that, honey. Look, I've got a lot on my mind right now, but I'll make it up to you real soon. We'll go grab some dinner one night. My treat." He smiled half-heartedly.

"Sounds good." Garcia bit her lip, then added, "You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's nothing, just feeling a little off today."

"Okay. Well—I'll see you later, then."

Morgan nodded absently, and Garcia left his office.

She went to find Prentiss.

"What the hell is going on with Morgan?" Garcia asked.

Prentiss looked up, bewildered. "Morgan? Wow, I don't know." She frowned. "He has been awfully quiet lately, now that you mention it. Did you ask him?"

"Yeah. He said it was nothing. I've seen him get a little down once in while, but this has been going on for days. I hope his mom's all right."

Prentiss pondered for a moment. "Maybe Reid knows something. I'll go find him." She stood up, but just then Reid walked by. Prentiss called to him. "Hey, Reid, hold up—got a second?"

The young profiler stopped and walked back to Prentiss' desk. "Sure, what's up?"

"Do you have any idea what's wrong with Morgan?"

Reid stared from Prentiss to Garcia, noting the concern in their eyes. He shrugged. "No, I don't. I have... absolutely no idea what's wrong with Morgan." He smiled slightly, then looked down at the file he'd been reading as he walked, and turned to head back to his desk.

Neither Prentiss nor Garcia picked up on the tinge of bitterness in his voice.

* * *

Alaska. The whole team, including Garcia, was there on a case.

The team meeting took place in the lobby of the small inn they were staying at.

"There aren't enough rooms for everyone to have one of their own, so some of us will have to double up," Hotch announced.

"I'm not sleeping with Reid," Morgan interjected, much too quickly.

"Dibs on Morgan," Garcia piped up.

Hotch looked from the blonde tech analyst to Morgan, noting that he was sporting the same dour expression that had been on his face for days. He'd been meaning to take him aside and ask him what was wrong, but there had been no time. "No, I think Morgan could use some down time on his own. Why don't you share with Prentiss? I'll get the clerk to bring up a cot, and Rossi, Reid and I will take the larger room. Now, everyone, try to get a good night's sleep. We're going to hit it early in the morning."

Garcia watched Morgan glumly trudge outside to bring in his bags. She turned and followed Prentiss to their room. Once inside, she sat on the edge of the bed and said, "I've got an idea."

Prentiss gave her a sharp glance. "Oh, good, that's not frightening at all. What idea?"

"I'm going to pay Morgan back for that prank he pulled on me last week."

Prentiss sank into a chair and regarded Garcia with a dubious expression.

"Really? Now? We're on a case, Pen. Plus, I don't think Morgan's in the mood for practical joking."

"I know, but that's just it—he needs something to pull him out of his doldrums. I'm going to bribe the clerk to let me into his room, then I'm going to hide in his closet. When he least expects it, I'll burst out and scare him, but good."

Prentiss rolled her eyes. "That's a pretty lame practical joke."

"Hey, it's no frills—that's the best kind, we're talking solid old-school prankery. Plus, it'll give me a chance to have a little soul-searching dialog with him in private. Maybe if I disarm him, he'll talk."

"Speaking of disarming, he has a gun, you know. That and cat-like reflexes. You don't want to mess around with that combination."

"I know that, believe me. I'll wait until he takes it off to pounce. That'll be even better, he'll get all comfortable and relaxed, then_ bam."_ She nodded to herself. "It's going to be great."

Prentiss pursed her lips and shook her head. "I hope you know what you're doing."

* * *

All went according to plan. The clerk was easily convinced by a twenty dollar bill and Garcia's best doe-eyed expression of innocence to let her into Morgan's room, located next door to her own. She then ensconced herself in Morgan's closet, which helpfully had wooden doors with slats, affording her a good view of the room. She'd just gotten settled when Morgan came in.

He shut his door, sighed heavily, and threw his bag on a chair. He took off his shoes and shoulder holster and was just about to pull off his shirt when a knock came at the door.

Garcia frowned; this was not supposed to happen. She figured it was probably Hotch, checking on his depressed agent. Oh, well, she'd just have to wait it out.

"Who's there?" Morgan asked, as the door didn't have a peep hole.

"It's me." Garcia recognized Reid's voice and she watched as, oddly, Morgan's shoulders slumped and he seemed to steel himself before opening the door. She could see the two agents facing each other.

"Hey," Reid said in a soft voice.

"Hey." Morgan's answer had a slightly defensive tone to it that puzzled Garcia.

They stood there for another moment, then Reid asked, "May I come in?"

"Yeah." Morgan stepped back and Reid entered the small room.

They again stood facing each other, not speaking. Garcia was now beyond bewildered at their behavior. Slowly, it began to dawn on her that the Boy Genius and her Bronze Adonis must have had a fight.

Reid finally broke the silence. "So—that 'I'm not sleeping with Reid' remark.' Very funny." He stood with his arms folded across his chest and a wry look on his face.

"Oh, God. Yeah... I just..." Morgan ran a hand over his head before spreading his arms in a helpless gesture. "I figured you wouldn't want to be trapped in a tiny room with me for who knows how long, feeling the way you do."

"Oh, so that was for my benefit?"

"Aw, man, come on—"

"Look, Morgan, we've got to talk. I can't go on like this."

Morgan tiredly cast a glance up at the ceiling, then said, "Me, either. Come on, sit down." He gestured toward a chair in a corner of the room, and took a seat on the bed while Reid pulled the chair closer.

Once seated, Reid took a deep breath. "Okay, I'll go first. Clearly, we let the practical jokes get out of hand. I got back at you for the phone number thing, you got back at me for the screaming thing, and I... I admit, I got a little frustrated. In fact, I overreacted—I see that now. And, I'm sorry."

Morgan was listening intently; when Reid finished, he quickly responded with, "No, man. I'm the one who should be saying I'm sorry. I don't know why I got carried away like that—it's this stupid competetive spirit of mine, I just can't stand to lose, and I—"

Reid leaned forward, his eyes flashing. "And, convincing my Russian chess partner to talk dirty to me the last time we played sounded like a good idea?"

"Well—"

"He has a wife and three kids!"

"I know that now—"

"What if his wife had overheard? She'd have thought he was having an affair—she could have kicked him out of the house! He'd never play with me again—and I've been playing with him for_ three years,_ Morgan. Three years!"

"It was just a little joke! Nothing bad happened!"

Garcia could see Reid fight down aggravation, and he continued in a calmer tone.

"You're right, it didn't. This time. But, what about next time, or the time after that? When does it stop—when someone really gets hurt?"

Morgan sat gazing at the floor. Finally, he nodded. "You're right," he said slowly. "You're absolutely right. I'm sorry, kid. No more practical jokes, I swear."

Reid gave him a skeptical glance. "Really? You're serious?"

Morgan nodded. "Yeah, absolutely." Suddenly, his voice sounded tired. "Hey—you know I'd never hurt you or anyone you care about on purpose. So, I'm done. I promise." He gave Reid a hopeful look. "Truce?"

Reid took a deep breath. "Okay, truce. And, I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have gotten so angry with you, I should have been more patient. I said things that hurt you, and... that's the last thing I ever wanted to do. I want you to know that I'm going to do my best never to react that way again, no matter what.

Morgan smiled slightly. "Promise?"

Reid smiled one of his rare, all-over smiles, making his face light up. "Promise."

"So... You're not mad at me anymore?"

"No, I'm not," Reid said, laughing. "I really am sorry I got so upset. But, you know, I honestly don't know how to handle stuff like this. I'm a little behind the curve where relationships are concerned."

"Well, it's not like I'm winning any awards in that department either." Morgan stood up and then knelt in front of Reid. To Garcia's utter astonishment, he took Reid's face in his hands, leaned in, and claimed Reid's lips in a deep kiss. When they parted, Morgan added, "Although, there's one part of being in a relationship that I've noticed we're both pretty damn good at."

Reid chuckled. "And, what might that be?"

Garcia could see Morgan taking on a teasing pose. "I have two words for you... makeup sex?"

Reid laughed out loud this time. "I was hoping that was the direction this was going. Yes, please. I'd like that." He tenderly reached out and ran a hand down Morgan's face. "I'd like that very much."

Both men stood up and reached for each other. They embraced, kissed, and held each other for a long moment, and then began taking off their shirts.

Garcia's head felt as if it was about to explode.

"Oh, my God—stop!" she squeaked from her closet.

Having had only a t-shirt to remove, Morgan was already taking down his trousers, while Reid still had a vest, button-down shirt and undershirt to go. They both froze and stared toward the closet, mouths open.

"Garcia?" Morgan asked, disbelievingly.

Shame-faced, Garcia opened the closet door. She gave a weak little wave. "Hi," she said.

"Baby girl, what the hell? What are you doing in there?" Morgan asked, too surprised to be concered over his trousers puddled around his feet.

"I-I was going to jump out and scare you. To get you back for your practical joke on me last week. But, I was also going to make you tell me what's been going on with you, why you've been so unhappy lately." She glanced from Reid, who was haplessly clutching his tie to his chest, to Morgan, who just seemed to remember that he was basically in his underwear. He hastily bent down and pulled up his trousers.

"Oh, my God," he breathed as he turned around to zip up.

"Garcia, look, this isn't what you think. Exactly..." Reid trailed off.

Morgan gave Reid a slightly irritated look. "Yes, it is." He then turned to Garcia. "Look, me and Reid are in love, okay? And, we had a big fight. All because of stupid practical jokes! I swear to God, I will never pull another one on anybody, ever. Okay, world? Now, give me a break!" He sat on the edge of the bed with a huff, folded his arms over his chest and shot a grumpy glare at Garcia before returning his attention to Reid. "I'm sorry—I guess the secret's out, pretty boy. Another thing that's my fault."

Garcia felt herself choke up. "Oh, wow. I'm not going to tell anyone! I'm happy for you! But, it's no one else's business, and it's up to you to decide if and when you want to share the news." She looked from Reid back to Morgan. "I'm so sorry, guys. I never meant to..." A sob caught her. "I love both of you, and I'd never do anything to hurt either of you! Please, don't be mad at me. It was just supposed to be a practical joke!"

"Yeah," Morgan said ruefully. "I get that." He stole a glance at Reid. He wasn't sure what he expected the young profiler to do—get angry with him all over again? Turn his hurt and frustration at having their relationship revealed onto Garcia?

Garcia was thinking along the same lines, and both she and Morgan stared at Reid.

But, instead of an expression of anger or hurt on his face, there was a smile, and it was directed at Morgan.

"You're in love with me?" he asked softly.

Morgan looked startled. "What?"

"You said we were in love." A wry grin came over him. "Ipso facto, you're in love with me. Is that what you meant?"

"Uh..." Morgan swallowed, then he laughed sheepishly. "Yeah. I've been meaning to tell you for a long time, kid. I just... never had the words. I guess I was so shocked about Garcia spying on us that it just slipped out."

Reid went to him, leaned down and hugged him. "I love you, too." He knelt so he could look into Morgan's eyes. "And, I'm tired of sneaking around. I want to tell the team."

"Really?" Morgan reached out a hand and pushed a strand of hair away from Reid's face. "But, you were so determined to keep it a secret."

Reid shrugged. "You said you wanted to keep things casual, remember? I thought we were just, you know, having a fling." He looked down at the floor. "Although, it was never like that for me. I've been in love with you for years, Derek."

Morgan glanced up at Garcia, who he noticed was now beaming around her tears. He sighed. "Well... same here, kiddo. I guess we were both so scared of what was really going on between us, we kept telling ourselves it was nothing." He turned back to Reid, lifted his chin, and kissed him gently. "But, you're the best thing that ever happened to me." He chuckled, almost to himself. "I guess the joke's been on me the whole time."

"Oh... that's so sweet! Aw, you two are so adorable together!" Garcia had brightened considerably, and she added, "I bet you'd have gone on for a long time without saying how you really felt if it wasn't for me hiding in the closet, right? So... there's really no reason to be mad at me anymore, right?" she asked, sounding heartened.

"I suppose." Reid gave her a reproving look, then he mused, "Interesting. All three of us got to come out of the closet today."

Morgan groaned and Garcia gave a weak laugh. "Yeah... Well, I better leave you lovebirds to... work things out. Goodnight—I'll see you tomorrow."

Morgan stood up and walked her to the door. He tapped her on the shoulder as she was about to scoot out. "Listen, Miss Thing—I know you didn't mean to cause a bunch of trouble for me and my boy there, and fortunately, everything came out all right. But, practical joking really is dangerous. I've learned my lesson—have you?"

Garcia stared past him to the still only slightly-rumpled bed and shivered. "Oh, yeah. Big time." A thought hit her and she frowned. "Still, let the record show that I got even with you, Derek Morgan. I won!"

Morgan laughed and shook his head. "No, baby girl." He glanced back at Reid. _"I_ won. Thanks to you." He turned back and kissed her on her forehead before giving her a playful shove. "Now, get out of here, girl. I'm busy."

"You two have fun!" Garcia exited and paused, staring at the door shut firmly behind her, just getting her bearings. She then headed back to her room.

Prentiss looked up from a book she was reading. "Well, you didn't get shot, that's encouraging. How did it go?"

Garcia held up her hand in a pledge-taking gesture. "No more practical jokes, ever. I swear."

Prentiss smiled approvingly. "Good. I was worried about you, Pen. I've noticed that a lot of practical jokes tend to go awry."

"You have no idea," Garcia said under her breath.

She lay down on her bed, ruefully hoping she'd be able to get to sleep in spite of the rhythmic banging of a headboard against a wall in the room next door.


End file.
